With respect to your body, it is ALWAYS important to have the correct information. Not understanding how your body works, or the basics of sexual health can be detrimental to one's wellbeing.
With that said, I'm going to give you the ins and outs of anal play!
In our day and age, it is imperative that we speak about all forms sex, because not everyone is doing, or wants to do for that matter, the classic "penis in the vagina" sex. If that is what you prefer and you're just looking to spice things up in the bedroom, or maybe that style of sex isn't for you and you want to try something else, I'm going to help you learn how! Yet, even if you conclude that anal sex isn't going to be on your to-do list, it won't hurt to know how it all works.
If reading about anal sex makes your uncomfortable, that is alright. I understand topics like this may seem taboo to some or may make others feel awkward. No pressure, just discontinue reading :)
First and foremost, there is an abundance of information on the internet about anal play, however, most of what you'll come across are either pornography or guidance for very experienced sexual connoisseurs to try something new. Where are the pioneers and first-time explorers suppose to look? Where is the map to guide them on what may possibly be their first expedition to the southern frontier?
Well, ladies and gents, look no further. Welcome to anal 101!
"The anus is rich with extremely sensitive nerve endings that feel incredible when stimulated."
Backdoor sex, albeit somewhat labeled with infamy, is an entirely natural sexual activity for individuals to enjoy. Believe it or not, the human race has been having anal sex since the dawn of time. It has even been recorded that the Ancient Greeks and other cultures engaged in this festive activity. So if you're concerned that giving it a shot is weird or gross, don't worry, it isn't whatsoever!
The anus is rich with extremely sensitive nerve endings that feel incredible when stimulated. The opening of the anus is where most of the nerve endings are present, so if you want to get those good feelings without putting anything up there, you are able to!
It is worth noting, however, that--like all sex acts on the planet--they are not enjoyed by all, and that is completely acceptable. Different strokes for different folks! Everyone should engage in sexual activity that they find pleasurable, and do what they think feels good. There is nothing wrong with how you individually choose to explore your sexuality, and no specific way is better than others.
Anal when you have a prostate
For those of us who have prostates, receiving anal sex can be an absolutely breathtaking experience!
Some of you may be thinking, "What the hell is a prostate?" The prostate is a little gland close to the bladder that creates prostate fluid - one of the primary elements of semen. It can be found right in front of the rectum and is able to be stimulated with fingers, a toy, or a penis. It feels like a small, solid lump.
It feels amazing to have one's prostate played with. This element of the male anatomy is what makes anal sex so appealing to male. Moreover, it is entirely possible to have hands-free, prostate orgasms! They'll leave your legs wobbly.
Anal when you don't have a prostate
If you have a vagina, this does not mean fun anal-times are off the table. Many vagina owners adore anal sex. For persons without a prostate, having your anus stimulated can still be an experience that will throw your head back! Like I said earlier, there are tons of nerve endings back there!
"It can be described as a feeling of 'enchanted fullness'."
While the anus may not be as supple as the vagina, remember, it still has the ability to accommodate a baby's head by nature's design! Furthermore, the anus is extraordinarily tight, and the simple feeling of having something inside your anus is a very unique experience. It can be detailed as a feeling of enchanted fullness.
Asking your partner if they may be ready to try anal play
So if you're thinking you may be ready to give or receive anal sex, it is very important to speak to your partner prior to your anus-tour. I recommend getting an ENTHUSIASTIC consent before embarking - this will make it an extremely enjoyable time.
Bringing up the topic of anal sex can be a bit scary, regardless of your level of experience. I suggest sitting down one-on-one with your significant other, and let them know that anal sex is something you're interested in trying. Be sincere with your intentions and how you feel about it. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to authentically discuss your wants and desires. Moreover, everyone wants to have a satisfying experience. If they give you green light, it is time to get the ball rolling!
Take it slow - I'm serious
I will not sugarcoat this. Quickly and frantically rushing into anal play can be painful.
You must take it slowly. The anus is a muscle, and like any muscle, must be worked up in order to take on a bigger load. However, instead of picking things up, you're inserting them. I advise starting with a finger, a small toy, or a butt plug (with LOTS of lube). Carefully warm up your behind and lightly massage the anus with your well-lubricated finger/toy/plug. As you become increasingly excited and comfortable, slowly work the object inside. Then, gently move it around the anus relax and ease any tension as it gets use to having an object inserted.
DO NOT put any toy inside of you that does not have a T-shaped or flared base. It is terrible to lose something inside your behind. The rectum is quite large inside, and it is more complex to remove lost objects than simply "pooping" them out.
"When you begin to have anal intercourse, go slowly."
When you begin to have anal intercourse, go slowly. Frequent communication with your partner will help keep things cordial and assure both of you are having a pleasurable experience. If you find it is painful at any point, say something and stop! If this happens, relax, take a break, then slowly ease back into it. No communication and lots of tension can make the entire ordeal less enjoyable.
Lube is not an option
You must have lube. No, you NEED lube. This is not an option. If you're brand new to anal play, you CANNOT skip this. The anus does not have naturally occurring lubricants like a vagina does, so if you want to have a gratifying experience, you need lube.
Likewise, condoms are also a necessity. While there is no risk whatsoever of pregnancy during anal intercourse, STIs are still out and about, and having unprotected anal sex will put you at risk of contraction.
What lubricant should you use? A water-based one. Silicone lubricants can ultimately cause latex condoms to deteriorate because of their high oil content. The last thing you want is a broken condom stuck in your or your partner's ass.
In the same way, stay away from oil-based lubes. As already said, the oil will damage latex condoms and put them at risk for breaking.
Using an unflavored, unscented, and water-based lubricant is your best bet!
Poop may be present
Yes, this may actually happen, but it seriously is not something to worry about!
With the amount of joy and pleasure anal sex can bring, I didn't want this to be the first thing that comes's to your mind. That is why I left this until the end.
"You may feel feces when inside your partner."
In ALL of my anal-expeditions (and there have been quite a few), I have NEVER once come into contact with fecal matter.
Poop does not just sit inside the anus waiting to come out--it is stored in the intestine. So in 99% of cases, this is a non-issue. However, I DO have to put this here because every once in a while I hear some horror story about how someone found poop on the end of their penis.
It is NOT a huge deal. Everyone has a butt. Everyone poops. End of story.
Anal sex can be an absolutely incredible experience, and I sincerely wish everyone has the opportunity to experience it. Don't let poopy tales get in the way.
So, no more dilly-dallying. Find your partner, sit down with them, and start exploring :)