Oral Sex Part 1 - Leaving Him Breathless: What Men Like
The beloved act of oral sex that we all know and love performed on an individual of the male sex is called fellatio (Per that definition, it does not matter whether it is a man or woman performing the sexual act).
This delectable sucking and licking of a man's penis can ultimately be a precursor to intercourse--it arouses the man and helps him get an erection--or it can be done continually until the man climaxes.
Although a man's erection is commonly referred to as a boner or hard-on, and with no doubt whatsoever an erect penis is indeed harder than a flaccid one, one must remember that a penis is not literally rock hard. It is made of flesh and blood, and therefore can be damaged. If a penis is handled too roughly and without enough care, the man could develop what is called Peyronie’s disease, which means that a kink may develop, or even several kinks (and no, that's not the good kind of kink either.). So anyone performing fellatio has a duty to be relatively gentle.
Not sure what to do or how to please your partner? Try this basic approach below and improvise as needed:
1. Both partners should get themselves in comfortable positions
You've likely seen pictures of a woman on her knees while a man stands above her. This position has its advantages, but if either party feels uneasy about this position, there are plenty of other options available to you.
P.S. - To make this position extra cozy, put a pillow under the performer's knees.
2. The partner who is going to give oral sex should start by gently fondling and caressing the man's penis with his or her hands.
Some men get erections merely from the expectation of oral sex, while others--particularly older men--will use oral sex to get their sex-engine started, making it an important part prior to intercourse for some folks.
3. Once the man starts to get an erection, lick the penis or place it in your mouth.
While the tongue is certainly an important part of the process, you can lightly nibble the penis with your teeth, give light kisses with your lips, or suck the penis with your mouth. But please, no biting.
We get that movies like Deep Throat put pressure on partners to swallow the man’s entire penis while not gagging. Of course in the movie, the penis was particularly large, but real life is not the movies, and no one should feel pressured into trying to copy what they see on-screen.
Because the most sensitive part of a man’s penis is the head of the penis, deep throating his penis isn’t going to give him much more pleasure and is really more an act of humiliation than anything else. I’m not saying that couples shouldn’t do this if both partners are willing to try, but one’s abilities to perform fellatio doesn't depend on being able to perform circus tricks.
4. Stimulate the underside of the head of the penis or lick under the foreskin--this is where you will find the highest clusters of nerve endings.
If you’re facing the man, as you are when on your knees while he is standing, then your tongue will be in the right place to do this. If you’re upside down, such as in the 69 position, you may want to use your fingers to add arousal to that area.
5. Continue to use your hands to touch the penis, stroke the shaft, and gently fondle the testicles.
Don’t be reserved about exploring beyond the head of the penis while performing oral sex. These touches are not only permitted but encouraged.
Be careful when it comes to his testicles because they are sensitive. Too much pressure causes him pain, which puts a quick end to these activities.
If the man enjoys it, you can also insert a finger into his rectum.
6. If oral sex is not being used as foreplay, the man is going to (probably) ejaculate as a result of oral sex.
There's nothing to worry about if he ejaculates in your mouth, but it is also not necessary.
If you don’t want that to happen, the man should tell you that he is about to ejaculate and you can use your hands to help him reach his climax.
Communication is key to doing a good job, as it is with any sexual position. You can’t guess what feels best to your partner. You have to ask him, and he has to be able to articulate his needs.
If you’re not ready to perform oral sex on your partner yet, but you think it’s something that you want to try, you can simulate the real thing by practicing on a banana (no need to shape it like the above picture). By licking the banana sensuously you’ll develop a good understanding of what you should do when the flavor goes from vanilla to male.
Stay tuned for Oral Sex Part 2 - Making Her Toes Curl: What Women Like
We referenced the beloved Sex for Dummies by Ruth K. Westheimer in this article.