Cosmo's Bizarre Sex Tip: Leave No Trace
We'll thank The Cut for hearing about this one.
Cosmo's known for announcing, "137 sex tips to drive him wild," on just about every magazine they publish.
In the summer of 2003, they published what would later become their most infamous 'sex tip' of all time:
An anonymous fan wrote in that he loved when his girlfriend would slip a glazed doughnut onto his penis and then slowly nibble it off.
Odd, but not that odd.
But that's not what we're writing about today.
This past November, they topped their own 'advice.'
Titled, "Leave No Trace," they wrote:
If you are staying at someone’s house over the holidays and need to avoid certain seminal evidence, make the easiest masturbator ever by filling a plastic sandwich bag with lube. Put a sock around it for a better grip and stroke up and down your partner’s penis while they rub you. Afterward, seal it up then hide the living hell out of that baggie.
Absolutely nothing about this advice makes any sense.
First of all, what's easy about this?
Putting a sock around a Ziploc bag?
Why go through any of this trouble and opt for a condom instead?
Furthermore, who in their right mind wants to feel the ridges of a Ziploc bag against their johnson while trying to get off?
Lastly, "...then hide the living hell out of that baggie."
Unless you're staying at the playboy mansion over the holidays, your host will probably not be pleased to find a cum filled receptacle in their guest room closet.
This 'advice' raises far too many questions and has left us pondering.
And if you must wank and don't have a condom present, why wouldn't you just do it into your dirty boxers that you're planning on throwing into a laundry bag anyways?
Or just the sock?
It makes us wonder who is writing Cosmo's content.
Something tells us they don't follow their own advice.
Masturbating aside, we'd like to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your Pals at Sex Toys for Men Co.
Of course, please peek through our catalog and see if you'd fancy any of our stocking fillers and masturbators.
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